The Heart of the Home

The kitchen is the heart of my home. It’s the hub of the domestic wheel. Since it’s where the woodstove is, this time of year, it’s where everyone gathers. And, everything of any importance takes place there: meals get prepared, recipes shared, bills paid, horse grains mixed, tinctures made, messages exchanged; kombucha brewed, coffee sipped and books read.


Sometimes I take for granted that the kitchen is the living heart of my home. That is, until someone reminds me. And, invariably, that reminder comes in the form of them telling me how “old fashioned” or “cozy” it is.

I’ve got generations of memories of the kitchen being the command post of the home. My grandmother’s kitchen was alive with conversation, cookie baking and ironing. We did our homework in the kitchen while she stirred the soup kettle over the woodstove. There were knitting projects by the rocking chair in the corner and grandpa read his book at the kitchen table while dunking cookies in coffee.

It’s not much different at my place. And, I forget that this is “old fashioned” or “cozy.” To me, it’s normal.

Every now or then, a well intentioned friend tries to bring me up to speed by reminding me that most modern homes center around the TV or home entertainment center. Folks in these households gathers around the television to eat (if you can call the consumption of processed junk-foods eating), nap, and veg out. This sounds de-vitalizing to me. I get an impression of people who are eviscerated and socially alienated.

My kitchen is vitalizing. People are animated and active. And, they are socially engaged with one another through lively conversation and shared projects. Things get done and company gets kept. Quality time isn’t scheduled — it just happens naturally.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics LS American Time Use Survey (A.C. Nielsen Co.), American households spent 5 hours and eleven minutes per day watching TV. Compare that to the 0.55 minutes that, according to the same survey, people spend in their kitchens per day. That’s right. Americans spend less than one hour a day in the heart of their home: the place where food — the nutritional foundation of human fuel — is prepared.

Americans spend more time engaged in passive distraction than active self-nourishment.

My kitchen is where we cook and eat; stack firewood; hang culinary herbs to dry; make floral elixirs; grind flour; dry wool socks and mittens; grow sprouts; and visit. It’s the first place people head when they come in the house. And, it’s a commercial-and-propaganda-free-zone: nobody is extolling the virtues of sugary breakfast cereals, weight loss programs, or celebrity trivialities.

I cleaned a horse bridle by the kitchen woodstove today. And, when I got it done, I hung it from the lamp so that everyone could look it over. I did yoga in the kitchen today—early in the morning before the press of activity took over. I read for a while in the kitchen this afternoon—after I had meditated by the woodstove while re-kindling a dwindling late-day fire.

Maybe it’s because I don’t have a TV. Or, maybe it’s because my kitchen opens into all of the surrounding rooms. Or, maybe it’s because my kitchen is huge — like a healthy, fit heart that pumps vitality into the whole rest of the body.

Whatever the reason, I want it stay this way. I want the kitchen to remain the living nerve-center of my life. I want it to remain the domestic command post, the hub of the household wheel. It feels right that the really important things in life — good food, good friends and good times — all take place there.

I don’t want to come up to speed and be “modern.” I don’t want to lay on the couch and watch TV. I want to stir a soup kettle and make real, living memories.

Stuffing the Stockings with Less Stuff

It is easy to get caught up in holiday consumerism. It's not unusual for people to find themselves spending money on decorations, or rushing through thrift-stores searching for something, anything!, to get for friends and family. We like holidays because they offer us ritual, connection with people, and something to celebrate. But, even when the ritual involves buying unnecessary, excessive presents, we can find ourselves participating in that ritual—and it may not necessarily be a ritual we would have consciously chosen.


So how does one celebrate the holidays without breaking the bank, or giving in to the rituals of consumerism? Simple. Develop new rituals. This year, you don’t have to rack up credit card debt or get swept up in the season’s commercialism. Instead, consider creating holidays that instill more meaning into the season and encourage more sharing, laughter, creativity, and personal renewal.

According to the National Retail Federation, shoppers spent a total of $441.97 billion during the 2008 holiday season. 40% of Americans start their holiday shopping before Halloween. According to the Nilson Report, Americans’ credit card debt, by the end of 2008, reached $972.73 billion, up 1.12% from 2007, with the average credit card debt per household totaling $8,329. These numbers point to the urgency of our revisioning consumer habits. What if—instead of buying “stuff” for holiday gifts—we gave gifts of time, gifts of experience and gifts of charity?

Gifts of time include things like babysitting, car washing, a month of taking out the garbage, doing the dishes, shoveling the snow, cleaning the cat box, dog walking or pet sitting, or a hiking trip. When I was a young mother, my best friend always gave me one day of child-care a week. Oh, how I looked forward to that day each week when I could have “my own” time!—a respite from the demands of parenting two active toddlers.

Gifts of experience include things like an offer to teach a skill such as canning, ballroom dancing, knitting, or swimming. I often give my horsy friends a gift certificate for a dressage lesson. Or, I gift them with an afternoon of hiking and wildcrafting in the backcountry.

Gifts of charity might include a donation to a cause in the name of a family member. Some families make gifts to charities and then present family members with a coupon or card indicating the gift was made in their name. Or, you could support a homeless shelter or protect an acre of rainforest. You could designate an amount of money to donate to charity and let your children pick which causes will receive it. Older children can research organizations that match your family’s values.

And, of course, there is the option of homemade gifts. Homemade salsa, jam and baked goods all taste much better than their commercial counter-parts. Include, of course, the recipe. Or, you can mix tins of dried, wildcrafted teas such as lavender, mint or rose hips. Include a mesh tea strainer. One of my favorites is a mix of lavender, rose petals and clover.

Being creative and keeping your mind focused on the real meaning of gift-giving will help you keep the culture's "buy more" influence at bay. Keep in mind, too, that the efforts you make to curb your holiday spending now will free up more cash for the coming year. And that's the best holiday gift you can give yourself and your family.

Taking Action

I don't meet all that many people these days who still think that "things are fine" with the US economy - or that "recovery is right around the corner". The light-bulbs are coming on for people and they are beginning to realize that the current state of affairs is, as David Wann says, the New Normal. The Emperor really has no clothes. We've consumed our way past the Peak and the descent has begun.

On the other hand, I don't meet many people who do much more about this than merely talk! I hear a lot of "oh, ain't it awful" sagas without much accompanying action. And, frankly, the only thing that's really going to move us into a more secure future is action.

The time for talking is over. We need to take action while we still have some choices left.

We can decide to make the descent in a controlled way, beginning now, or to cling to our current lifestyles and wait for the inevitable entropic free-fall. What we need to know to get by in a disintegrating industrial society is radically different from what we have needed to know to shop in malls, eat out, outsource our child-care, buy pre-packed food and work out in a gym.

Additionally, many of the requirements of an age of decline come with prolonged learning curves and a high price for failure. Starting right away to re-skill to navigate a de-industrializing society offers the best hope of getting through the difficult years ahead with some degree of dignity and grace.

Action is simple enough: figure out how you will be able to live after the next wave of crisis hits, and to the extent that you can, start living that way now:

· Figure out how you will get by if your job goes away or down-sizes, and you have to make do on much less money; downsize

· Get out of debt - all of it. Make paying off student loans, car loans, mortgages, and credit card balances a #1 priority

· Re-skill. Learn to do all of the things that your Grandparents did as a matter of course:

** Learn to grind wheat-berries into flour and bake bread

** Learn to cook and bake from scratch

** Use your clothesline instead of a dryer

** Learn to can vegetables and fruits

** Begin sun-drying herbs for teas and tinctures

** Learn jelly-making

** Learn how to care for livestock

** Consolidate errands to reduce transportation needs

** Get to know your neighbors and begin to help one another. Form support networks

· Develop barter and trade networks. Utilize the area Time Bank

· Spend less money. Stop buying stuff!

· Plant a garden and learn to care for it

· Start a compost bin and utilize your kitchen scraps and other waste

· Get fit so that you can bicycle or walk to local destinations.

· Get some laying hens

· Learn to do home repairs and have supplies and tools on hand

It's not sufficient to read and talk about this stuff. Experience is the ultimate teacher. We learn from our mistakes and it is a whole lot smarter to make those mistakes when the stakes aren't quite as high as they will be when the free-fall begins. If your garden fails now, you can still go to the market. That option might not be as readily available in post-industrialism. Ultimately, actions speak louder than words!

Customer Review from Amazon!

Blueprint for the New American Dream, December 4, 2010:

Dr. Ackerman follows on the footsteps of Scott & Helen Nearing - true pioneers of the Good Life! In her book, Sherry provides readers with an outstanding account of her own "freedom experiments" which began in the mountains of Vermont and have led her to the foothills of Mount Shasta, CA. Readers will find her warmth, humor and optimism appealing as she challenges us to consider "unleashing" from the conditions placed on us by the demands of our society and ultimately, our own. In these "dark times", it's refreshing to see how an individual's path to transcendence gives a sense of hope and encourages exploring the unlimited alternatives available to us and our environment.

Perhaps, one of the most useful parts of this book is contained at the end of each chapter where Sherry gives simple ideas, exercises and examples of things to do and consider while embarking on your own "freedom experiment." It all comes down to the choices we make. Consumerism has led most of us to live sedentary, boring and lifeless lives not realizing our own personal power to turn things around.

I recommend this book to anyone - for it is the blueprint of the "New American Dream." Sherry asked: "do we dare to take the road less traveled and create something new?" Do we dare for once - consider and respect that we are all interconnected to each other and to nature. Understanding this - is the beginning of the Good Life! --Yali Blasini